Good morning,
Have you ever wanted to participate in a Red Tent activity? I mean the kind where a group of women of all ages live together for a few days. After reading the Red Tent by Anita Diamante, I have yearned to be connected with other women and share the best of who we can be. I know in biblical times, women would hang out in the tent when they were going through their menstrual cycle and were not allowed to be with the rest of the community. During that time of seclusion, stories were shared, nourishing food was eaten, dreams were told and daily duties of life were put on hold for awhile. This practice was probably resented because it was mandatory and probably odorous. But in view of our current busy lives, it seems that we have gone too far the other way.
So I was so pleased to participate in a spiritual retreat with 13 other wonderful women this past weekend. We spent three days sharing our lives in very intimate ways. The purpose of the retreat was to use native American and other healing traditions to facilitate the communication between our intuitive knowing and nature.We drew on the ancient traditions of: dream circles , space clearing and healing, animal spirits and shamanic journeying.
What I loved about the experience was:
That we are all connected and on a very special soul's journey right now. And it is really helpful to stop verbalizing sarcasm and negativity as a way to move into happiness and connection to others.
That we all have a special reason that we are alive right now and it is easier to remember this in safe and sacred group connections.
That the different generations of women need each other as we move through the life cycle. We need each other's wisdom.
That different religions, cultures, languages, and ways of life offer us opportunities for richer connections.
That rituals and interconnecting the religious and spiritual traditions are very powerful and healing.
I thank all of us for showing up, telling the truth, crying, laughing and celebrating the Red tent tradition even though we were housed on the grounds of a former Catholic Seminary.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Guilty or not guilty?
good morning,
I woke up this morning and I began thinking about guilt. In my mind, guilt is feeling like I should do something, I don't want to and I do it any way. I grew up in a family of cultural Jews. There was more emphasis on the cultural than on the religious aspects of Judaism. In our family, education and thinking well were very important. Of course,also whether you were male or female having a career which had meaning and value was critical. . We were taught to give back to the community through volunteering. However, we were also taught that even though you don't like doing things or conversely you like doing things that differed from the cultural norm, don't do them!! As a kid, I remember questioning so many things and understanding much more than my few years warranted. This was squashed in favor of thinking about what the "neighbors" would think. Wherever we lived we had many neighbors, and I don't think that they ever talked about what we should be doing.
I remember in the 70's reading books about families that adopted chimpanzees and had them live in their homes. In one of the books, the adults tried to get the chimp to eat what was on her plate by saying there are chimps starving in Africa. Guess what, it did not work. I am sure that the chimp understand the command , it just did not understand guilt.
I also remember when my youngest daughter was born( which was 21 years ago) and we understood really quickly that she did not understand the term guilt. She would do things because she wanted to do them and not because she was supposed to. I remember using a lot of guilt in my parenting because it was what I knew. However, it did not work with her the way it did with others. I was baffled about guilt. Then I started hearing the term Indigo children and the absence of guilt in their beings. I started teaching parenting classes since I needed really to understand how to parent to children with no guilt.
I would try to talk to other parents about it but it was hard to even talk about it. So we are really supposed to want to do things we do. Having no guilt, isn't that the definition of a sociopath or psycho path. NO NO NO.
I am finally starting to get what it means. Our life's work is to tell our truth. I don't know what your truth is so how can someone else know what it is for me. During these years, I have learned to cover my discomfort by using anger and coldness when I did not want to do something that I should do. I did not know why I was doing what I did except that I couldn't do it any other way. I would end relationships with friends and family and really be distant. I really get it know. I was unable to tell the truth and things went badly. Using verbal communication is so very limiting and we often cannot say what we mean. The English language is very insensitive as well and relies more on the mental world and not the kinesthetic way. My goal is to stay present, talk about my feelings, do what I feel good doing and above all do no harm.
I woke up this morning and I began thinking about guilt. In my mind, guilt is feeling like I should do something, I don't want to and I do it any way. I grew up in a family of cultural Jews. There was more emphasis on the cultural than on the religious aspects of Judaism. In our family, education and thinking well were very important. Of course,also whether you were male or female having a career which had meaning and value was critical. . We were taught to give back to the community through volunteering. However, we were also taught that even though you don't like doing things or conversely you like doing things that differed from the cultural norm, don't do them!! As a kid, I remember questioning so many things and understanding much more than my few years warranted. This was squashed in favor of thinking about what the "neighbors" would think. Wherever we lived we had many neighbors, and I don't think that they ever talked about what we should be doing.
I remember in the 70's reading books about families that adopted chimpanzees and had them live in their homes. In one of the books, the adults tried to get the chimp to eat what was on her plate by saying there are chimps starving in Africa. Guess what, it did not work. I am sure that the chimp understand the command , it just did not understand guilt.
I also remember when my youngest daughter was born( which was 21 years ago) and we understood really quickly that she did not understand the term guilt. She would do things because she wanted to do them and not because she was supposed to. I remember using a lot of guilt in my parenting because it was what I knew. However, it did not work with her the way it did with others. I was baffled about guilt. Then I started hearing the term Indigo children and the absence of guilt in their beings. I started teaching parenting classes since I needed really to understand how to parent to children with no guilt.
I would try to talk to other parents about it but it was hard to even talk about it. So we are really supposed to want to do things we do. Having no guilt, isn't that the definition of a sociopath or psycho path. NO NO NO.
I am finally starting to get what it means. Our life's work is to tell our truth. I don't know what your truth is so how can someone else know what it is for me. During these years, I have learned to cover my discomfort by using anger and coldness when I did not want to do something that I should do. I did not know why I was doing what I did except that I couldn't do it any other way. I would end relationships with friends and family and really be distant. I really get it know. I was unable to tell the truth and things went badly. Using verbal communication is so very limiting and we often cannot say what we mean. The English language is very insensitive as well and relies more on the mental world and not the kinesthetic way. My goal is to stay present, talk about my feelings, do what I feel good doing and above all do no harm.
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