Asking for what you want!

How many times do we think that we ask for something and we have never said it out loud. I feel like I ask for what I need all of the time and yet somehow never get what I want. I am aware enough to know that I keep ending up in the land of insanity. The definition of insanity that works for me is "if you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

What stops us from asking? The fears that no one really cares. That people will give us what they want to give us and not what we really want. We really don't know what we want and it is better not to know. No one understands us anyway. I don't know how to say it clearly! Who cares. My Zebra Monster ( please refer to the zebra monster and the authentic self blog, on 2/2/09) is really active today isn't it.

So we all yearn to have someone understand us without having to ask for it out loud. Who wouldn't want a massage, be fed peeled red grapes and being told I adore you without having to ask for it? However, I have never had a massage or peeled grapes that I haven't ask for and perhaps it is better that way.

What i really want is someone to just sit, make eye contact once in awhile, listen,and ask me how they can be of service. I really don't want someone to jump in and assume that they know what I want. I may not even know it until I articulate out loud to a caring listener. So I probably need to reflect upon whether I do this with others. I often do but not always. I probably do it more when I am working then when I am not. After all, this is part of my job description as a psychotherapist.

If you remember the series, In Treatment on HBO, which aired last year. The therapist, Brendan Byrne, is falling apart one minute and then acts as if he is completely fine as he opens the door for another client. In a perfect world, he could say I feel miserable right now , could you listen to me for awhile and then maybe I will listen to you. Actually, because it was on television, he actually does do that often . Perhaps I need to try it and see what happens!